


Memories for Sachiko

by aj_linguistik



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Adult Kirito, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, OC is Kirisuna's kid, Sad Premise, Sad and Sweet, Sad with a Happy Ending, Single Parents, but mostly just cute stuff, single dad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2020-11-08 14:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aj_linguistik/pseuds/aj_linguistik
Summary: Kazuto's parents died when he was a baby, but he doesn't feel like he understands the loss of a parents as an infant. After all, he was raised by two loving parents from that age on. So what does Sachiko feel knowing her mommy passed on, having never really met her? He wants the best for her, and he wants her to really feel like she knows her mom, but he's going to have to fight the painful memories to help Sachiko know her.





	1. Spring

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: An idea I've been sitting on for *well over a year.* I've been thinking- "AJ, you are a JERK. You are SUCH a jerk! This is so mean!" But I have not been able to tear this idea out of my head. Since I've committed to putting all my ideas and suggestions on paper (cough, AO3) to force myself to write them and not lose them, this idea will finally get its shot. I hope the cute outweighs the sad. Kirito and Sachiko's story has been forming in my heart for a while, so I hope you enjoy their bittersweet story with me!

Spring represents new beginnings because it’s the season when animals come out of hibernation, buds form on trees, ready to blossom, and wildlife brings forth new life in the form of little peeping chicks and fluffy, tiny rabbits. It’s a fresh, clean sort of air that renews your spirit after a cold winter, spring air is. With spring comes lots of rain, drenching the dry ground and providing a drink for thirsty plants. It might rain tomorrow.

Children start school in the spring. That’s another form of a new beginning. They’re ready for a fresh start, to aim for better grades and make new friends. Yes, that’s exactly what spring is. It’s hope. It’s light. It’s a poetic time for smiling people. Their hearts are ready for this new beginning, brimming with excitement and anticipation.

But for me, spring is an ending.

I watched the man in front of me as he worked. There was a numb feeling in my chest. April was the worst time to have to attend a funeral. While others were thinking about those joyous new beginnings, I was staring down at an ending that had come far too soon. I felt my mother place a hand on my shoulder. She leaned over to whisper in my ear.

“Are you going to be okay, Kazuto?”

My body doesn’t want me to respond, so I said nothing. I didn’t even nod my head or shake it. I kept my eyes glued to the body as it was being wrapped. Going through the funeral felt like a horrid nightmare. I watched the preparations, I sat through the motions, I numbly did as I was supposed to. I don’t think I reacted until our family got into the car to leave. My mother, once again, turned to ask if I was okay, and I burst into tears, letting out a wail I’d been holding in for days.

They took my home, unsure of what else to do. They came inside with me, sat me down, and started to do something in the kitchen. Suguha came and sat across from me, casting me a worried look. I looked at her once or twice. I think I zoned out up until the point that I heard a distressed cry. I came back to my senses and leapt off of the couch to tear into the kitchen.

“Where is she?” I asked.

My mother looked up at me and smiled softly.

“Right here,” she said.

I hurried over to my mother. She carefully handed the baby to me. She was crying as hard as she could. I took her into my arms and held her against me, rocking back and forth to try and calm her down. Mrs. Yuuki walked over to us and handed me a bottle. I thanked her and readjusted my hold on her to feed her. She eagerly accepted her meal. I sat down and sighed in relief.

“That’s right, Sachiko,” I said. “Papa’s got you. It’s been a long day, huh?”

Probably relieved to see me less numb than earlier, my mom sat next to me and rubbed my back while I fed her. Mrs. Yuuki remained across from me, giving both me and the baby a pained look. It was a difficult day for all of us. Especially for Sachiko, but she wasn’t old enough to understand. All she probably knew was that her mama was gone. Tears blurred my vision.

“Sachiko…I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” I stammered.

My mother gently squeezed my arm.

“Do you want me to take over?” she asked. “It’s okay if you need space.”

I shook my head.

“I just…she’ll never understand…” I said, choking on my words. She’ll never remember Asuna at all. When my parents died, I had you and dad. I can’t be a mommy for her, though. She’s going to ask where hers is and…”

Smiling sadly, my mother stroked my hair.

“Well, then just share your memories with her,” she said. “Tell her everything there is to know about her mommy. Asuna’s spirit will be watching over you both. It will make her so happy for you to share her with Sachiko. She _will_ know her mommy. She’ll know her through you.”

I gazed down at Sachiko as she drank her meal, presently oblivious to the fact that her mother had died. I guess the grace of it was that unlike me, she didn’t have to remember sitting in a hospital room holding Asuna’s hand as she fought to stay in the world for her daughter. She wouldn’t have the painful memory of finally watching her flatline and then feeling like all lights had been snuffed out.

But I wanted her to know Asuna. I’d do everything in my power to make sure she knew who her mother was. As my family slowly trickled out of the door, both offering their condolences for my loss and receiving mine for theirs, I was left alone in the house, just myself and Sachiko. I got her ready for bed and then curled up beside her, quietly crying to myself.

“She’s watching over you, Sachiko,” I said, watching her sleep.

Her little fingers were wrapped around my index finger.

“Hurry up and grow up big and strong,” I whispered. “So I can tell you all about your mama.”

* * *

_Present Day_

“Alligators are purple!”

I stared down at the paper and made an exaggerated frown. I looked over at her. She started to giggle. Her little purple crayon started to scribble faster, occasionally slipping outside of the lines of the alligator she was coloring. I made another face, this one looking shocked. She glanced back up at me and giggled even harder.

“What did he eat that made him purple?!”

She couldn’t contain her laughter in her little five-year-old body. She started to fall over as she laughed.

“Papa, he’s purple because he was born purple!” she said.

“What if I told you that YOU were born purple?” I asked.

She shook her head, still giggling.

“No, Papa! I’m not purple!”

“Oh, yeah?” I asked. “Well, you might not be purple, but you ARE ticklish!”

I reached over and started to tickle her sides. She finally flopped over all of the way onto the carpet, shrieking with laughter. I eased up just a little bit, pretended not to be paying attention, and then she tackled me. There was no way her tiny body could knock me over, but I fell over on purpose and made a big show of being knocked over. She then took it upon herself to tickle my armpits.

“Whoa! S-Sacchi! N-not…haha…no..not…Sachiko!” I gasped.

She grinned at me.

“Papa’s tickly, too!” she announced.

“Why, you!” I said.

I scooped her into my arms and hopped up to my feet. She squealed and laughed as I twirled around and came to a quick stop to stick my nose against hers. She smiled at me, her eyes glittering with happiness. I sighed and smiled back at her.

“Gosh, you look so much like your mama,” I said.

Sachiko frowned and tilted her head.

“You say that a lot,” she said.

“Because you do,” I said. “Your mama was very pretty and strong. It’s a compliment.”

I sat down on the couch. She adjusted herself so that she was comfy in my lap. I picked up a tablet off of the side table and held it out in front of her. I pulled up some pictures of me and Asuna. Sachiko pointed her little finger at the first picture. I tapped on it and made it bigger for her. She giggled.

“Why are you hugging Mama’s belly?” she asked.

I laughed.

“That’s you, silly,” I said. “That’s when you were inside Mama’s belly. I was very excited to meet you. So, I gave you a big hug!”

Sachiko giggled as if that were the silliest thing she’d ever heard. I didn’t expect her to understand. That was a sentiment even I didn’t get until Asuna was pregnant. I scrolled through a few more pictures. Sachiko had me stop on a particular favorite of hers—a wedding photo where someone had caught the very moment when we kissed for the first time as husband and wife.

“You loved Mama a lot, didn’t you Papa?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Mama was a very special person to me.”

She lifted her head up and leaned back to look up at me.

“How did you meet Mama?” she asked.

I blinked. That was a new question. Normally, she just was happy knowing there were pictures of Asuna to look at. This was the first time she’d actually asked for anything beyond that. I almost started crying on the spot. Hadn’t I wanted her to want to know about Asuna? Wasn’t this what I’d been waiting for? I smiled and picked her up and took her into my bedroom. I set her down on the bed and opened up a box under my bed.

“What’s that?” she asked.

I lifted the heavy object out of the box and set it down next to her. She stared at it, wide-eyed, and reached a hand over to touch it.

“This is called a Nervegear,” I said. “You know about Papa’s Amusphere, right?”

She nodded.

“You put the funny glasses on your head, and you play games with Aunty Sugu,” she said, nodding.

I tapped the Nervegear headset as I nodded.

“This is like an older version,” I said. “But this one’s scary.”

“Scary?” she said, tilting her head.

I nodded.

“Very scary,” I said. “It trapped Papa and Mama inside.”

Her eyes got really big. I didn’t figure she understood exactly what that entailed but trapped made enough sense to her that she clearly got what I meant. She poked at the helmet and frowned at it. She made a little fist and punched it.

“Bad Nerbgear!” she said, having a little trouble with the unfamiliar “v” sound from English.

I chuckled.

“Yeah, bad Nervegear,” I repeated. “But also good.”

She tilted her head again.

“If it trapped you and Mama, why is it good?” she asked.

I smiled.

“Because if it didn’t, I’d never have met Mama,” I said, smiling at her. “Mama and I became friends while we were trapped. And after a while, we became better friends, and then we fell in love. So, after we got freed, we found each other and got married and we were very happy.”

Funny how that all worked out. As I said it, it felt more profound. If not for SAO, I’d have never met Asuna and as a result, I wouldn’t have been having this conversation with our daughter right now. Sachiko wouldn’t even exist. It was odd, to be grateful to the death game for making me a father.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hmm?”

“If you’re really, really good,” I said, “when you turn six, Papa’ll show you the world he met Mama in. It’s safe now. But you gotta promise me you’ll be extra good before your birthday!”

Ah, yes. Incentivizing good behavior. It works like a charm. Not that I need to do it much; Sachiko is a perfect little angel. But she does have her mischievous side. I could imagine Asuna rolling her eyes and saying she knew where she got _that_ from.

“Really?!” she exclaimed.

“You betcha!” I said.

She bounced on the bed excitedly.

“I’m gonna be…be extra good!” she said. “Then I’m gonna see where Mama met Papa!”

I nodded.

“That’s right, Sacchi!” I said.

I scooped her back up, giggling recommencing, and cradled her in my arms. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She squirmed a little, laughing, but hugged my neck and kissed me back. I hugged her back. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I was finally going to get to share Asuna with her. I was probably more excited than she was. But this was going to be good for both of us. I just knew it.


	2. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had a lot of fun writing a little kid this chapter. Don't read this one where you shouldn't be crying, there's definitely some parts where I took a baseball bat to the feels.

“Hey, for Sachiko’s birthday, I’m going to let her dive into ALO,” I said.

Shino practically choked on her drink. I couldn’t see her expression. I was too busy watching Sachiko on the floor playing with Shino’s German shepherd puppy. She giggled when the puppy put his paws up on her and started to lick her face excitedly. A small part of me wanted to move over to her so that I could be close in case one of those “oh no, it’s scary!” moments happened, but Sachiko seemed to be fine for now.

“She’ll only be six, Kirito,” Shino said. “The rating on the game is—”

I nodded.

“I know what the rating is,” I said. “But I told her if she was a really good girl, I’d show her where I met Asuna.”

She stiffened up. It still wasn’t easy, even all of these years later. I think my friends were still afraid to bring up the topic. I’d been a terrible mess for the first few years. I’m very grateful that my friends stepped in to help me as much as they could. It was no position I could be proud of—with a year-old baby, I should have been more present to care for Sachiko. But I couldn’t erase that past now. All I could do was press forward.

We both looked over at Sachiko as she patted the dog’s head. I wondered if Shino felt the same bittersweet feeling in her chest when she looked at the girl. She had Asuna’s eyes and hair, a fact that always managed to make me choke up when she wasn’t looking. I knew it did no good to continue sobbing over her this far out. So, I just smiled, watching her with my head resting in my palm.

“You want her to see Aincrad, then,” Shino said softly.

I nodded again. I could hear the disapproval in her voice. An online game like ALO didn’t have a way for me to enact parental parameters. I couldn’t keep her from hearing players swearing or prevent other players from approaching us at all. I was, however, extremely confident that I could ward off any potential threats to my daughter.

“Do you want some help keeping her safe?” Shino asked.

My eyes left Sachiko and wandered over to my friend. As much as it sounded like she disagreed with my decision, she clearly wanted to help. I smiled at her. She puckered out her lip and straightened up a little.

“Wh-what are you looking at me like that for?” she stammered. “Idiot!”

I laughed.

“Sorry,” I said. “I would love it if people came to help keep Sachiko safe from over-eager players. Gosh, you haven’t snapped at me even that lightly in years.”

Shino’s eyes went a little wide. She hung her head.

“I felt bad about being curt with you because Asuna…” she trailed off.

I bit my lip and wrapped my hands around the cup of coffee in front of me. Unsure of what to say, I lifted it up, blew on it a little, and took a sip. It was true that everyone had been acting differently since her passing. They probably all asked the same question: why wouldn’t I tell them what happened? I always hurriedly shoved it off as something the family wanted to keep quiet about, but the truth was more difficult than that.

We didn’t know.

I’d returned home from work one day to hear Sachiko crying in distress and not a sound out of Asuna. I’d hurried inside to see what was wrong, first checking on the baby to see if she was okay, and then wandering the apartment for Asuna. I’d found her on the kitchen floor: collapsed, unmoving, and, to my shock and horror, without a pulse. I didn’t hesitate to call an ambulance, and they came, of course, but it was already too late, the doctor told me. She was already dead when I found her.

“These things happen, sometimes.”

An answer I was given by several medical professionals who were trying to deal with my immediate emotional outburst. She was in perfect health. She’d suffered no injuries. No bugs or pests of any kind had affected her. I caused quite a scene in the hospital, I’m sure. A grown man on his knees on the floor sobbing next to his baby, who was sleeping, quietly oblivious.

I’d spent the entire day in the hospital, holding onto Asuna’s cold hand and begging her to wake up. Something in me believed in another miracle. She’d come back to me after dying in SAO, a death I’d been certain was permanent. Doctors begged me to leave. They needed to prepare her body for cremation. I’d stubbornly shaken my head and insisted she was going to wake up. They told me I was delusional from the shock.

Later that day, I was collected from the hospital by my mother and mother-in-law. Sharing the news of Asuna’s death with her mother was perhaps the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, aside from admitting Asuna was gone to myself. Passing the information on to more family and friends didn’t get any easier, though. Even now, five years later, I think people didn’t know how to approach me over the issue.

“It would feel more normal, I guess,” I mumbled. “It feels like I’ve been stuck in the same weird place since Asuna died. But life is going to continue on. She’d be upset to think things got weird because she was gone, you know?”

Frowning, Shino nodded.

“I guess you’re right,” she said.

“Papa, papa!” Sachiko exclaimed. “His nose tickles!”

I set my coffee down and moved over on the floor next to her. The puppy was sniffing at her cheek, which apparently really must have tickled. His tail wagged excitedly. I was a bit scared she’d get overwhelmed in a moment. My intuition seemed spot-on, too, when she finally started crying a little bit. I gently pushed the puppy back and scooped Sachiko up in my arms. She buried her face in my shoulder and cried.

“You’re okay, Sacchi,” I said, rubbing her back. “Papa’s right here.”

Giving Shino an apologetic look, I sat back down at the table and held on to Sachiko while she cried. Shino gave me a funny look.

“I think he was a little excited and spooked her,” I said, chuckling.

Shino smiled.

“I don’t know how you do it,” she said. “I don’t know if I could ever handle having a kid.”

I laughed.

“If you do, you’ll never have as good of a kid as Sachiko!” I said.

For the first time in years, I caught a glimpse of her “I’m already fed up with you, Kirito!” face. I gave her the most facetious grin I could muster. She shook her head at me, clearly holding back saying anything super rude within earshot of my daughter. Sachiko finally calmed down and pulled her head back to look at me. I smiled at her.

“Papa, you smell like adult juice,” she said.

Shino almost choked on her drink again. I chuckled.

“I smell like _what,_ Sacchi?” I asked.

She pointed at my coffee cup.

“The adult juice!” she said. “You said you don’t drink the same kind of juice as me. Your juice is for adults because you said I can’t have it.”

Shino was practically doubled over giggling about Sachiko’s concept of what coffee was. I laughed and pointed at my cup.

“It’s not juice,” I said. “It’s coffee. Can you say coffee?”

“Coffeeeee…” she said.

“Good job!” I said.

Sachiko giggled and turned around so that she was facing the table. I reached over into my backpack and pulled out some paper and crayons for her. She happily snatched up the materials and set about doodling a picture. I wrapped one arm around her, wary of the fact that she could slip and fall off of me under the table.

“So, have you tried any kids’ VR games for the Amusphere with her before?” Shino asked.

I shook my head.

“I need to stop by the local game shop and see what kind of options they have,” I said. “We’ll need to get her used to VR before we attempt flying her up to Aincrad. I’m so used to VR I keep forgetting people need to adjust.”

Shino laughed and shook her head.

“Oh, you spend over two years in VR and that gives you permission to forget that other people need to adjust to it?” she said.

Sachiko popped her head up.

“Two years?” she repeated.

Shino nodded.

“Yeah, remember when your dad said he was trapped in that game?” she asked.

Sachiko nodded.

“It was for two years,” she said.

Sachiko looked up at me.

“How did you pee?!”

Once again, Shino choked on her laughter. I groaned. I then had to explain to her that they put us all in hospitals to take care of us, so we didn’t die while we were trapped. Her eyes got really wide and she turned around to clutch me tightly. I laughed and hugged her. She seemed really worried about me now.

“Papa, are you ok?” she asked, sounding like she was about to cry.

“Of course, I’m okay, Sacchi,” I said.

She glanced at Shino over her shoulder.

“Were you trapped, too?” she asked.

Shino shook her head.

“No, I met your mom and dad after they escaped from the game,” she said. “Well, I met your dad playing a game and then he introduced me to your mom later. Your mom and I were best friends!”

Sachiko’s eyes lit up.

“You were?” she asked. “Did you watch Pokémon together?”

I tried my best to hold back my giggle at the comment. Sachiko couldn’t possibly understand what Shino and Asuna did together, since they’d met as teenagers. Their interests were much different than a five-year-old kid’s were. I mentally pictured Shino and Asuna sitting around watching something like Pokémon together and finally let out the laugh.

“No, but we did have sleepovers,” Shino said. “We mostly talked about people we liked or the games we played.”

“Ew…boys,” Sachiko said, squirming.

“Hey! I’m a boy!” I said, mock-pouting.

Sachiko patted my chest.

“You’re the only okay boy, papa,” she said.

Shino sighed.

“Yeah, I agree, boys are gross,” she said. “I think girls are much prettier.”

I frowned.

“Hey, boys can look good, too!” I said.

That resulted in a funny look from Shino. Sachiko jumped to my rescue by calling into question Shino’s statement.

“You think so? Can girls like girls?” she asked.

Smiling, Shino nodded.

“You can like anyone you want!” she said. “I have someone very special that I like, just like your dad had your mom. Do you have anyone you like that’s very special to you?”

I gave Shino a look.

“Oi, she’s five,” I said.

“Papa is very special to me!” Sachiko exclaimed.

My irritation for Shino introducing a too-mature topic melted and I squeezed Sachiko into a tighter hug. She didn’t get the difference just yet. That was alright. Sachiko giggled, happy to be receiving hugs.

“Ah! You’re very special to me, too, Sacchi!” I said. “Say, I bet if you ask very nicely, Aunty Sinon might share some pictures of her and mama with you.”

Gasping, Sachiko turned back to Shino with wide, glittering eyes. I’d kind of put Shino on the spot there. She seemed throw off by the statement, but she nodded and went to move out of her seat. I gave her a pointed look. She stopped moving. At least she understood that I was trying to get Sachiko to learn how to ask people for things she wanted.

“Aunty Shinon, can you please share your pictures of mama?” she said.

Shino smiled and nodded.

“I’ll be right back with some, okay, Sachiko?” she said.

As Shino got up to go and look for her pictures of her and Asuna, Sachiko lifted her head up and stared up at me. She rested against my chest and stomach.

“Why does Aunty Shinon look sad?” she asked.

I brushed some of her hair out of her face.

“Because like papa, Aunty Sinon misses your mama, too,” I said. “Your mama was a very special person, Sachiko. She was a good friend to everyone and stood strong when the rest of us couldn’t. She made a lot of people smile.”

Sachiko hummed. Shino came and sat back down with a folder of images. Sachiko leaned forward and put her hands on the table. I once again put my hand on her belly to keep her from toppling over.

“Aunty Shinon, mama is still trying to make you smile from heaven, so don’t be sad!”

The statement was so profound and bold that Shino immediately started bawling. Sachiko was very confused as to why she’d started crying. When she looked up at me again, she noticed I was crying, too. Noticing her gaze, I smiled at her.

“Sorry, Sacchi,” I said. “That was just very sweet of you.”

Shino nodded.

“Thank you, Sachiko,” she said. “I’ll do better to smile for her, too.”

I kissed the top of her head and sighed.

_Listen at our baby, Asuna_, I thought. _I know you’re proud of her, too._


	3. Breakfast Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi single dad domestic Kirito is adorkable! This is non-negotiable!

As I was bent over a bowl mixing some batter, I heard Sachiko’s footsteps dashing through the living room. She was clearly making a beeline for the kitchen. I frowned. She was running, which I shouldn’t have allowed in the house, but I wasn’t usually very strict about that unless she was actively in danger. I slowed my stirring down and listened as she came closer, contemplating whether or not to go tell her to be careful.

“Sachiko, are you running?” I called.

“I’M OKAY!”

I frowned. That wasn’t the response I was expecting. I set the spoon down, wiped my hands off on my apron, and started over to where she was running only to hear a crash. I dashed into the hallway and saw Sachiko on the floor giggling as hard as she could. I sighed and crouched down next to her.

“What are you in here doing?” I asked.

She rubbed a spot on her forehead.

“The wall hit me,” she said, still laughing.

I wondered what about that was so funny. She’d clearly just run into the corner of the wall while carrying a few of her dolls. Her toys were scattered on the floor around her. Yet instead of crying, like I’d expected, she was laughing like someone had just made a silly face. I tilted my head at her and pointed at her head.

“Do you want a band-aid?” I asked.

“Hello Kitty!” she exclaimed.

I had to try my best not to burst out laughing. She was so eager for a bandage that I didn’t have to wonder about why she was laughing anymore. She’d done this on _purpose_. I hadn’t realized the Sanrio-themed bandages would be such a hit with her. Now she was trying to whack herself so I’d offer one.

I headed to the bathroom and snatched up the box. It didn’t hurt to indulge her in something this small, I figured. I could practically hear Asuna scolding me for melting to her adorable whims. I went back into the hall where Sachiko was sitting. She hurriedly put her hand back on her forehead and gave me an exaggerated frown.

“Owie…” she said.

Sitting down next to her, I waved my hand over the box and pulled out a bandage.

“No, Kitty!” she said.

“Whaaat? You don’t want Keroppi?” I teased.

She shook her head.

“Hello Kitty!” she said.

“Alright, alright,” I said.

I fished out another bandage, this one sporting the desired character, and peeled it out of the wrapper. Sachiko was visibly excited already. I held it up and waited patiently. She looked me in the eyes, likely wondering if I knew she was doing this just to get to wear a bandage. I grinned at her.

“What’s wrong?” I said. “Didn’t you want a band-aid for that big old bump the wall gave you?”

She dropped her hands a little bit.

“Ah! There we go!” I said. “Oh my gosh! It looks terrible!”

Sachiko gasped.

“Does it?!” she cried.

I nodded solemnly.

“I simply _must_ place this Hello Kitty band-aid on top of it!” I said. “People could see that bump from probably next to Grammy’s house!”

She gasped again.

“Hurry, papa, put Hello Kitty on my face!” she cried.

I nodded again.

“Of course!” I said.

I peeled off the backing and gently stuck the bandage on her forehead. I waved my hands out to the side.

“Tada! No more bump!” I said.

She giggled and leapt into my lap, throwing her little arms around my neck. I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She pulled her head back at a goofy angle and grinned up at me, very pleased with her performance. She had a twinkle in her eye that told me her mischief wasn’t over. Sachiko let go of me, snatched up the bandage box, and then pulled out the Keroppi bandage again.

“Your turn!” she exclaimed.

“What? Papa doesn’t need a bandage,” I said, laughing.

That, of course, did not stop her from ripping the packaging off and promptly sticking the bandage in my hair. As I contemplated both why she would choose my hair, of all places, for a bandage and how I was going to remove that from my hair without incident, she had a complete giggle fit on the floor. I must have been making a hell of a funny face. I sighed and shook my head.

“Sacchi, bangs don’t need band-aids,” I said. “They can’t get hurt.”

“I was trying to get your forehead bump,” she said.

I frowned and touched the spot where the bandage was.

“Ah…yes.”

I picked her up off of the floor and carted her into the kitchen with me. I picked up my cell phone and placed a quick call to Shino. I set Sachiko down on the counter, where she happily kicked her legs over the edge. Awkwardly laughing, I set the phone to speakerphone so that I could continue to work on the pancakes I was making.

“Hello?”

“Oh, good, you’re up!” I said.

There was a grumble from the other side of the phone.

“Why are you calling me so early on a Saturday?” she asked. “It had better be an emergency.”

“HI, AUNTY SHINON!” Sachiko shouted.

She was leaning over the phone as low as she could get. I pushed her away from it gently.

“Easy, kiddo, she can hear you just fine if you talk right there,” I said.

Shino laughed.

“Good morning, Sachiko!” she said. “Why is your papa up so early?”

She tried to lean over again. I held her back.

“Just talk right there, she can hear you,” I said. “I promise.”

“Papa’s making pancakes!” she said. “I…I like mine with…with fruit!”

And just like that, Sachiko tried to wiggle off of the counter and take a nose dive for the floor. I dropped the whisk and caught her before catastrophe happened and we needed _more_ Hello Kitty bandages. As soon as I put her on the floor, she started zooming around the room again. I let out an exasperated sigh.

“She’s got so much energy today,” I groaned. “Sachiko, please be careful!”

Another laugh came from the phone.

“Are you calling because you need help?” she asked.

“What? No!” I said. “Well, not with Sachiko, at least. I was wondering if you knew how to remove a bandage stuck in hair without ripping a bunch of hair out of your scalp.”

Shino practically choked on the resulting laughter.

“It’s not funny! She got me good!” I whined.

“I could always cut it off, but your dignity might vanish along with whatever chunk of hair I have to remove,” she said. “Try peeling it off first, and if it’s too hard to remove, then I’ll jump in with the scissors. It’s not like it’s gum.”

I sighed.

“Fine,” I said. “And as a payment for waking you up on a weekend, would you like some pancakes?”

“I’ll get dressed and be right over!” she said smugly.

I heard the receiver click. I groaned.

“Of course, you will be,” I muttered.

With a sigh, I resumed making pancakes. I hadn’t been much of a chef when Asuna passed, so I’d had to learn really quick how to cook things other than noodles and fish. Baking and more complicated recipes were where I struggled, but I wanted Sachiko to actually enjoy food. So, I’d come pretty far in five years, from someone who had okay cooking skills to someone who made my daughter’s favorite meals so well that she insisted I cook them over someone else or selecting it at a restaurant. I kind of felt proud.

Sachiko zoomed back into the kitchen and slammed into the back of my legs. I kept my balance pretty well as I was setting up a griddle. She tugged on my pantleg and looked up at me, sticking her lip out into a very exaggerated pout.

“Papa, I want a pancake!” she said.

Humming, I pulled a stool over to the stove and propped her up on top of it, pointing to the griddle.

“I have to cook them, first!” I said. “Be careful! It’s hot!”

“How do you cook them?” she asked.

“Watch!” I said.

I poured out a bit of the batter onto the surface and picked up my spatula. I waited for the edges to look dry, just like I’d been instructed ages ago when learning this skill, and then I slipped the spatula under the pancake and deftly flipped it over. Sachiko gasped, as if this were the coolest thing she’d ever seen. She waited while I let the other side cook and then gasped again when I flipped it onto the serving plate.

“Tada! One pancake!” I said.

“Do it again! Do it again!” she cried.

Chuckling, I set about making the rest of the pancakes. I told her that Aunty Sinon would be coming over to enjoy pancakes with her, so if she heard the doorbell, we’d go check and see if it was her. I got through most of the batter before the doorbell did ring, and I paused my progress to go let Shino in. When I opened the door, Sachiko threw her arms up in the air.

“Tada! Pancakes!” she cried.

“I heard!” Shino said.

She looked up at me and choked on a giggle.

“Kirito, are you wearing an apron just to make pancakes?” she said. “You look like the perfect little housewife.”

I crossed my arms over my chest.

“I like my pancakes with fruit!” Sachiko interrupted.

“What kinds of fruit?” Shino asked.

Sachiko swayed back and forth, playing with the bottom of her shirt.

“I…I like strawberry…and banana…and raspberry!” she said.

Shino clapped.

“Wow! You know lots of fruit names!” she said.

“Yeah! And dad likes blueberry!”

“Speaking of, I need to go finish up the last two pancakes before the griddle catches fire,” I said.

I dashed back to the kitchen and quickly finished up cooking the last two pancakes. I set the dishes in the dishwasher and quickly set the table for three, providing all of the fruit and confection toppings I had on hand. Shino helped Sachiko up into her chair. I gave Sachiko a glass of milk and then asked Shino what she wanted. She opted for some tea, so I poured us both a glass and set those out on the table to complete the setup. I tossed my apron up on its hook and slipped into my chair.

“Alright!” I said.

“Pancake! Pancake!” Sachiko cried.

Shino giggled as the five-year-old bounced in her seat. She excitedly, but patiently waited for me to put a pancake on her plate. I went to cut it up, but Sachiko suddenly protested. She held one hand out to me.

“I wanna do it!” she said.

I blinked at her.

“Oh?” I said. “How about we practice, then?”

She bounced a little more. I got up out of my chair and handed her the butter knife. I helped guide her hand on how to hold it and then held her hands over the pancake, carefully guiding them as she tried to cut her pancake. After a few strokes, I let go of her hands but still stood there, just in case she needed help. I looked up at Shino and nodded for her to go ahead and take some pancakes if she wanted to. She nodded and pulled a few out for herself.

“Papa, I’m doing it!” Sachiko exclaimed.

I smiled.

“Yeah, you are!” I said. “I’m so proud of my big girl!”

She set the fork and knife down and pointed at the bowl of strawberries.

“Can I please have the berries?” she asked.

I picked them up and set them beside her. She grinned and took a huge spoonful to put them on top of her pancake. Shino asked if she wanted any syrup, and she shook her head. I explained that she wasn’t a fan of syrup and was perfectly content to just have a pancake and fruit. Shino watched her awkwardly scoop up bits of pancake and strawberry as she ate. When we were all full, Sachiko ran off to brush her teeth and play in her room while I started cleaning up the kitchen.

“You know, I have to say I’m surprised,” Shino said.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She waved her hand around her.

“For a while, I think we all thought you weren’t going to be a functional adult,” she admitted. “And that’s why we all kind of distanced ourselves from you and Sachiko. But here you are, working very hard to give Sachiko a nice home that’s clean and happy. I’m pleasantly surprised with how good you’re doing.”

I huffed.

“It almost sounds like you expected a slob who can’t take care of himself,” I said.

She hummed.

“Kirito, you know that’s not what I meant,” she said, her voice low.

I paused washing the dishes and blinked at her.

“Asuna dying really devastated you and it was obvious to the rest of us,” she said. “I don’t know how I’d react if Lisbeth died suddenly like that, so I can’t and won’t blame you for losing it. We’ve all been so worried. Asuna meant everything to you. I remember you calling every one of us just to cry. But I think you took your time to grieve and have done a good job picking yourself back up for her sake.”

Smiling, I listened to the sounds of Sachiko playing in her room for a moment. Shino was right. I’d spent so many nights thinking I couldn’t keep going without Asuna. But I think at some point I realized that Asuna was still here in my heart, watching over me and Sachiko as we lived our lives. I felt Shino press her hand against my back.

“You okay?” she asked. “You’re crying.”

I reached my hand up and wiped my cheek. Sure enough, there were tears on my face. I laughed and nodded.

“I’m okay,” I reassured her. “I just wish Asuna had been here today. She would have been so proud.”

Shino nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sure she is,” she said.


	4. A Good Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's time to get Sachiko introduced to VR!

“Is this your first time shopping for an Amusphere game?”

I looked up at the friendly-looking sales associate who’d just approached me. He had a professional smile on his face as he glanced at what was in my hands—two different kids’ games I was considering for a test-run with Sachiko. I almost wanted to laugh. The poor guy probably thought I was confused. I shook my head.

“No, I’ve got a few games,” I said. “I’m particularly fond of ALfheim Online.”

The man perked up.

“Well, then, can I help you find anything?” he asked. “I see you’re looking at children’s games. Are you purchasing a gift for a family member?”

I hummed then nodded.

“Sorta,” I said. “I want to introduce my kid to VR. She’s very excited. But I started VRMMOs when they came out when I was a teenager. So, everything I played was a bit…violent…”

From my left, Shino leaned over and gave me a look.

“Don’t just say that so casually, Kirito!”

The man’s eyes bugged a little.

“Kirito?” he repeated.

I gave Shino a look back, trying to express my irritation.

“Aren’t you the guy from that SAO Incident novel?” he said, appearing to be a bit excited. “The guy who cleared the game by facing off with the—”

Shino cleared her throat.

“Don’t embarrass him,” she said, teasingly bumping my shoulder. “Awe, Kirito, are you still shy? Grow up.”

I sighed.

“I-I’m not shy!” I protested. “I was having a perfectly normal adult conversation with this gentleman about purchasing a game!”

Sachiko dashed over and hugged my leg.

“Papa, don’t be shy!”

Good grief. These two were like a package deal for embarrassment. Shino was clearly teaching Sachiko ways to get under my skin. But unlike Shino, Sachiko could get away with it without me protesting, and I think she knew that. I looked down at her and laughed. I handed the games in my hands to Shino and picked Sachiko up.

“I’m not being shy, Sacchi!” I said. “Aunty Sinon is just trying to irritate Papa!”

Sachiko gave Shino a look and giggled.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable,” the sales associate said. “I just…my older sister was trapped in SAO. If it wasn’t for you clearing the game, I would have never seen her again. And now she’s happily married and enjoying her life.”

The associate gave me a surprisingly deep bow that I felt I didn’t completely deserve.

“You helped so many lives continue,” he said. “And seeing your daughter here with you, you’ve made it possible for many new lives to be created as well. I’m sure your wife here is very appreciative of that.”

Shino and I shared a terrified look for a moment, and then we blurted out at the same time.

“We aren’t husband and wife!”

The associate blinked at us.

“O-oh,” he stammered. “I apologize.”

I laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, she’s just a friend,” I said. “I’m…my wife was also an SAO survivor.”

The associate frowned.

“Was?” he repeated.

I decided it was high time we change the subject. I nodded at the game Shino was holding and then turned back to the man, eager to talk about VR games for kids over having to explain that Sachiko’s mom was dead. I readjusted my grip on Sachiko.

“So, what would you suggest for a beginner?” I asked.

Smiling, the associate looked at Sachiko and hummed.

“How old are you, sweetie?” he asked.

Sachiko cast a nervous glance to me.

“This nice guy’s gonna help you pick out a game for you to play,” I said. “And I bet he can show you some designs of the ‘funny glasses’ Papa has for you to pick one out you like.”

Her little face lit up with shock like she’d just been offered the biggest piece of cake ever.

“I get to wear the funny glasses?” she exclaimed.

The associate gave me a funny look. I mouthed to him ‘Amusphere.’ He gave me a nod. It didn’t look like he was one-hundred percent used to dealing with children. I went ahead and told Sachiko to tell the nice man her age for him. She suddenly put on the shy act and pressed her face into my chest. I laughed and patted her back. She turned her head just enough to announce that she was turning six soon.

“What kinds of things do you like?” he asked.

She hummed, and then gave the answer I knew was coming.

“Hello Kitty!” she exclaimed.

She showed off a little plastic watch on her wrist, which had Hello Kitty and her friends on it. The associate nodded and picked a few games off of the shelf to show to us. I made sure Sachiko took a good look at them as he explained what each game was about. She ended up selecting one about dinosaurs, which didn’t surprise me as much as I thought it would have. They were very cute dinosaurs, after all.

Next, the associate showed her some Amuspheres. Since they came in smaller sizes, adjustable sizes, and with different colors, Sachiko was delighted to look at all of the options available to her. I hoped she wouldn’t wear herself out too quickly. I still had to pick up some groceries. It took her a good bit to make an official selection, which was a bright red one. She asked me if she could put stickers on it and I told her that was fine. As I paid for the console and game, she spun around my legs squealing with delight. Shino said she’d love to treat Sachiko to some stickers while I shopped for essentials.

I did my best to make my shopping trip quick. By the time I got to Shino, however, she looked exasperated. Sachiko was crying very loudly. I apologized and scooped her up in my arms, holding her tight and rubbing her back.

“Is it nap time, kiddo?” I asked.

Sachiko let out a frustrated sob into my shoulder. Shino picked up the groceries I’d dropped to pick her up and helped me get them on the train. I apologized to her, saying that I didn’t normally bring Sachiko with me for long outings because she got tired and bored easily. She told me not to worry. By the time we got to my stop, Sachiko was already knocked out in my arms. Shino ended up carrying my groceries in for me. I hurried to lay Sachiko down in her bed.

I slipped her shoes off expertly and tucked her into the bed. She didn’t wake up once in the process. I let out a sigh of relief. I was getting better at this. I leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead while she dozed. Smiling, I brushed her hair out of her face.

“Sorry I kept you out so long, Sacchi,” I said.

Giving her one last glance, I tiptoed out of the room and shut the door. I hurried into the kitchen where Shino was already sticking cold things in the fridge. I reached into the bags and started helping out. She stopped after putting down a thing of soy milk and gazed at me as I slipped things into their places. I stopped only when all of the cold things were safely inside. I looked back at her and smiled.

“Thanks for your help,” I said.

She nodded.

“No problem,” she said. “Are you feeling okay?”

I maintained my smile and gave her a nod.

“I’m just a bit tired,” I said. “I’m sorry you had to deal with cranky Sachiko. It was my fault for letting her take her time at the game store. I guess after six years I’m still learning the ropes. I won’t ever stop having to learn how to parent, it seems.”

Shino hummed and tilted her head.

“What’s going through your head?” I asked.

She smirked.

“I was picturing you playing Disco Dino Land with Sachiko,” she said. “I can’t believe she picked a dancing game. I’m going to have to join in just to spectate you dancing with her. It sounds totally worth it.”

I raised an eyebrow at her.

“If you say so,” I said.

I turned to reach and grab something off of the counter. I tensed up the moment Shino’s arms wrapped around my midsection. I looked behind myself at her. She looked like she was crying. I blinked at her, confused.

“Oi, Sinon, what’s…what’s wrong?” I asked.

She choked on a sob.

“I hate knowing that Asuna’s missing all of this…” she said. “You’re trying your hardest to be a good parent for Sachiko all by yourself, and Asuna can’t even be here to watch her grow and you become a good father. It isn’t fair!”

I awkwardly turned myself around in her arms to wrap my arms around her and return the hug. She clutched my shirt tightly and cried. I wasn’t the only person suffering from Asuna’s passing. I knew that. But hearing her put it that way made my heart feel heavy. I didn’t want to think about everything she was missing, but I did so often.

“Personally, I think Asuna’s watching over Sachiko every day,” I said. “She’s listening to her learn to talk and she watched her learn how to walk. Every new thing she learns, every happy memory she makes—Asuna sees it and is probably smiling so big. I hope that the more of Asuna I get to share with Sachiko will make Asuna’s soul smile, too.”

I rubbed Shino’s back.

“I miss her, too,” I said softly. “Every single day I miss her more.”

Shino nodded.

“Sachiko…Sachiko looks so much like her…I…”

I hummed.

“Yeah, she looks a lot like her mom,” I said.

All of the things I’d been thinking for the past five years were suddenly becoming apparent to Shino. I felt sorry for her. I’d been forced to face things like Sachiko being Asuna’s little twin or reaching milestones with her without Asuna by my side. Shino had just come back into our lives when I’d suddenly asked to see her and ask about introducing Sachiko to Aincrad. It was brave of her to finally face her own bottled up feelings. I squeezed her gently.

“Thank you,” I said. “For letting me bridge the gap between us.”

Shino gave a small nod.

“I’m glad to have a friend like you back in my life.”


	5. Crepes for Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did you miss me? I'm sorry it's been so long. ;-; Life is getting busy.

I picked up the laces of Sachiko’s left shoe and held them up for her to see.

“Now, watch me,” I said. “I’m going to go slow, okay?”

She nodded enthusiastically. I was grateful that when it came to new things, she wasn’t very resistant to learning them. She picked up her right foot shoelaces and kept her eyes on my hands as I slowly walked her through the steps of tying her shoes. When I was done, I asked her if she thought she had it, and she nodded again, then tried to tie them and miserably failed. I laughed and showed her a few more times until she finally had an okay looking knot on her sneaker.

“Look! Look, Papa!” she exclaimed. “I did it!”

I grinned at her.

“You did it!” I said. “High five!”

She jumped up and slapped her hand against mine, giggling at me. She spun around in a little circle.

“Now, are we ready for the park with Aunty Sugu, Aunty Sinon, and Aunty Lis?” I asked.

Sachiko jumped around even more.

“Yeah!” she cried.

Shino had finally roped Rika into wanting to meet up and interact with me and Sachiko. For a bit of inspiration, Suguha had also agreed to tag along so it wasn’t just Rika awkwardly watching me and Shino play around with Sachiko and the puppy. We’d also had a bit of a discussion about ALO—Suguha naturally agreed to help introduce Sachiko to Aincrad and the goal was to get Rika to join us. If I could have had my way, I would have reached out to Keiko and Agil, too, but I didn’t know where the former was at and the latter was spectacularly busy.

For now, this would do.

The park was close enough to our house that Sachiko just rode on my shoulders all the way there while I walked. She waved at our neighbors, who happily waved back and commented on how much she’d grown. She asked to get down a few times to pet a passing kitty cat. When we got to the park, I asked her if she wanted a snack from one of the stands. She wanted a crepe, which was pretty messy, but I figured why not. I held her up to the lady in the stand so she could tell her what kind she liked.

“I want…the one with banana!” she said.

The lady smiled and turned to me.

“Anything for you, sir?” she asked.

I frowned.

“Papa, you get one, too! Get strawberry!” she said.

I laughed. She wanted a bite of both. I nodded.

“Okay, Sacchi,” I said. “Strawberry for me, then.”

The woman at the counter took my payment and told us she’d get those crepes ready for us. We stepped over to the side. Sachiko asked me why were weren’t grabbing crepes for Shino, Rika, and Suguha, to which I told her that they were big girls with their own money. While she told me that I was being a meanie, another customer walked up to the stand and ordered a banana crepe. Sachiko leaned over my shoulder, unafraid of a stranger.

“I ordered banana, too!” she exclaimed.

I turned around to apologize to the customer and choked on my words. Her eyes went wide.

“Is that you, Kii-boy?”

Sachiko gave me a funny look.

“L-long time no see, Argo,” I said, awkwardly laughing. “Sorry, Sacchi’s really friendly.”

Her eyebrows shot up, telling me that she’d picked up on the nickname instantly. Hosaka Tomo, better known to me as Argo from SAO, knew about my deceased guild members and probably wanted to make a comment on Sachiko’s nickname, but wisely chose not to for the moment. She handed the lady her cash and stepped aside to talk to us.

“So, who’s this?” she asked.

I smiled.

“Sachiko,” I said. “Sachiko, Miss Argo is one of Papa’s friends from the scary game.”

Sachiko’s eyes got really big. She had, as of late, been asking a lot of people we came in contact with about ‘the big scary game.’ It might have been funny to me, but there were plenty of people who still felt a sour taste in their mouth when they heard about the SAO Incident. She leaned over to Tomo, eager to hear more.

“Did you know Mama, too?” she asked.

Tomo looked at me.

“Well, you sure do look like Aa-chan,” she said, smiling.

I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I know her,” she said. “Although, it’s been a while since I’ve talked to either of ya. What have you two lovebirds been up to?”

Sachiko made a funny face.

“Lovebirds?” she repeated.

Tomo nodded.

“Yer mom and dad have always been lovey-dovey on each other,” she said, laughing.

It was my turn to make a face.

“Oi, Argo,” I said.

Frowning, Tomo looked up at me. I curtly shook my head. She gave me a funny look. I hadn’t been in close contact with her since we’d left the game. She sounded as if she had no idea what had happened. While I didn’t feel like breaking the news to her this abruptly, it was hard to keep a small child’s mouth shut on topics like this. And surely enough, just as I’d predicted, Sachiko innocently answered accordingly.

“Papa were you lovey-dovey with Mama?” she asked.

Sachiko looked at me and then wrapped her arms around me.

“Don’t look sad, Papa!” she said. “The nice lady’s giving you a crepe!”

Tomo, too, was giving me a sad sort of worried look.

“Did something happen?” she asked.

Luckily for me, the lady called me over and handed me my order. I handed Sachiko her crepe and sat her down on a bench while she stuffed her face into it. I happened to notice Suguha walking into the park entrance. I dramatically gasped and pointed.

“Look, Sacchi! Aunty Sugu’s here!” I said.

Sachiko perked up and looked over at Suguha. She squealed excitedly.

“Go give her a big hug!” I said.

I didn’t need to tell her twice. She sped off as fast as her little legs could take her. I watched her up until I knew Suguha had seen her and then turned back to Tomo. She was now holding her own crepe, but she didn’t seem interested in eating it. My mouth opened and closed a few times. I hadn’t had to break this news to anyone in a while.

“Argo, Asuna’s…” I said.

My empty hand started shaking. I clenched it into a fist.

“Did you two split up?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“No, Argo, she’s…she’s gone…” I said.

I forced myself to look up and make eye contact with her. Her expression looked as devastated as my heart felt. She reached over and put her hand on my shoulder.

“Kirito, I’m sorry,” she said.

All I could do was nod.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you so abruptly,” I said. “She passed on when Sachiko was still a baby. We don’t know why. But I didn’t want Sacchi to just blurt it out bluntly at you. She doesn’t remember Asuna, so she doesn’t understand how bad that feels.”

Tomo nodded in understanding.

“It would have been fine if she did,” she said. “She’s just a kid, after all. I can’t blame her for not knowin’ any better. I am sorry to hear that, though. I would have liked to say hi to Aa-chan one last time.”

I bit my lip.

“I could text you the location of the family grave, if you’d like,” I said. “To give her a proper good-bye.”

She smiled at me. It was the first time her smile hadn’t seemed facetious to me in a long time.

“I’d like that,” she said.

I forced a smile and nodded. We quickly exchanged contact information. Suguha came back over to me with Sachiko and poked me in the middle of my back. I jumped and whirled around, trying to fight the urge to swat at her.

“Are you over here flirting this girl up, big brother?” she asked.

I blinked at her.

“What? No!” I said. “I wouldn’t date _her_.”

Tomo burst out laughing.

“Nah, he’s more like an annoying little brother,” she teased. “But I see ya have a family thing going on here, Kii-boy. I’ll leave you to it. Don’t forget to text me that address. I owe it to her, after all.”

I nodded.

“Of course,” I said.

She waved good-bye to Sachiko and sauntered off down the walkway, seeming totally fine. Suguha gave me a funny look, but she didn’t ask anything more. Sachiko took over all conversation to show her aunt that I got her a crepe.

“We’re gonna share!” she said.

While I’d never agreed to that, I’d figured she wanted that from the start. She usually had a hard time deciding between banana and strawberry, so suggesting I buy one too meant that she wanted a bite of each. I sat down on the bench and pulled her up next to me. Suguha sat down on the other side of Sachiko. I saw Shino and Rika walking up to us. Sachiko took a messy second bite of her crepe and then held it up to me.

“You try, Papa!” she said.

I leaned forward and took a bite of her crepe. The way her face lit up from getting to share her treat with me warmed my heart back up. I held mine over to her and watched her take another messy bite of crepe. Shino waved at us.

“Kirito, she’s got whipped cream all over her face!” she said, laughing.

Sachiko started giggling, too.

“Aunty Shinon!” she said.

I picked up a napkin and wiped a bit of cream off of her face.

“Hey, what did we say about talking with our mouth full?” I said.

Her eyes got a little wide and she put her free hand over her mouth while she continued chewing, humming at me to tell me she was sorry. I rolled my eyes. I looked over at Rika, who was watching Sachiko with a strange look on her face. I waved at her.

“It’s been a while, Lis,” I said.

She nodded.

“Shino’s been keeping me updated with you two,” she said. “You seem like you’re doing pretty well.”

Smiling, I nodded.

“So, how about it?” I asked. “Want to log back into ALO with me, Sinon, and Sugu and show Sacchi around New Aincrad?”

Rika frowned.

“Isn’t ALO…a little mature for her?” she asked.

Shino laughed.

“I said the same thing,” she said.

I shrugged.

“That’s why I’d like you all to be there, too,” I said. “I want to show Sacchi where Asuna and I met. It’s her birthday present. Besides—you ladies might have a better time helping her with character creation than I would. And Sacchi’s a big girl—she can handle it. She’s been practicing VR with some age appropriate games.”

To prove she was a big girl, Sachiko shoved her crepe directly in her face. I leaned over and pulled it a little further from her. She grinned up at me, face covered in whipped cream. I put a hand over my mouth and laughed.

“Sacchi, why?” I said, still trying to hold back my laughter.

She then, to my shock, grabbed the bottom of my hand and shoved my crepe into my own face. Shino, Rika, and Suguha all burst out laughing alongside Sachiko. I pulled the crepe off of my face and wiped some of the cream off of my nose.

“I should have seen that one coming…” I mumbled.

Sachiko squealed with laughter.

“Papa, you’re all messy!” she said.

I just resorted to finishing up my crepe. By the end of it, I’m sure Rika or Suguha had uploaded a picture of it online. They’d told me they’d join our ALO birthday party for Sachiko if I let them do it, so I went ahead and consented with a sigh. I had to take myself and Sachiko to the bathroom to clean us up. Sachiko warily asked me if she was in trouble, and I reassured her it was fine.

“Now, let’s go play in the park while it’s still nice out!” I told her.

She couldn’t have been more delighted.


	6. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Look I'm sorry I know I'm an ass I do I know I'm a jerk I know my boyfriend is not happy with my decisions I know it-

“Look, I’d love to, Sugu, but now’s not a good time. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll let you know. Mmhm. Yeah. Oh, yeah, haha…she’s giving me a look. Look, I’ll talk to you later. Yes, yes, I’ll tell them both you said hi. Later.”

“What did she want?”  
“She wants to go on a special event quest in ALO,” I said. “But we agreed we weren’t going to be putting on any Amuspheres until further notice.”

I rested my hand on top of Asuna’s belly and leaned down to kiss her. She was sitting sideways in my lap, with her back against the armrest. I could feel happiness radiating from her. We both laughed, breaking apart the kiss accidentally, when the baby started kicking excitedly. Smiling, Asuna placed her hand on top of mine and stroked it with her thumb.

“We’re so close this time,” she said. “Our little miracle is strong and healthy.”

I nodded.

“Don’t worry, Asuna,” I said. “She’s gonna make it.”

It had been a long road to get here. Sachiko wasn’t our first, technically. We both could feel the heaviness of the loss of our first baby throughout this entire pregnancy, but we were both determined that Sachiko would be in our arms soon. Asuna hurt so much from the miscarriage that it had taken her a few years to want to try again. I couldn’t blame her. I had lost my baby, too, yet I would never understand the pain she felt. She’d be devastated if something happened to Sachiko.

Her joy when she’d discovered she was pregnant again had been so quickly swallowed up by fear. Both of us, really, would hold our breath while we waited for results. After each exam, when we would see our baby growing and healthy, we’d share a hug when no one was looking, crying in relief that our child was okay. It was a silent pain, that even my sister didn’t know about. But hopefully, it would be eased when Sachiko was safe in our arms.

“It’s pretty late,” Asuna said, diverting away from the stressful topic.

Laughing, I nodded in agreement.

“Sleepy?” I asked.

She hummed. I turned off the TV and scooped her up in my arms. I walked her into the bedroom, changed her out of her day clothes into some pajamas, and then laid her down in bed, making sure to prop her up comfortably with pillows so that she could get a good night’s sleep. She dozed off rather quickly. I smiled, then went about preparing myself for bed.

When I came back to the bed, I could her chest rising and falling as she slept. I crawled into the bed next to her and gazed at her while she slept. There was a peaceful look on her face. I reached over and brushed some of her hair behind her ear. She was so deep asleep that she didn’t even stir at my touch. I chuckled and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“I love you so much,” I said. “See you in the morning.”

My eyes slipped closed, and I was fast asleep before I knew it. Morning came just as fast, though, and I rolled over to find the bed empty. I crawled out of it and ambled into the kitchen area where Asuna was busying herself cooking something. I sighed and walked over to place my hand on her shoulder. She turned and smiled up at me.

“Good morning, Kirito-kun!” she said, sounding pretty chipper.

I couldn’t help but smile back at her. She seemed like she’d gotten a good rest.

“Good morning,” I mumbled.

I turned her all the way to face me and leaned forward for a kiss. Her round belly was in the way, pressed up against mine as I gave her my morning greeting. Asuna laughed and put her hand against my chest.

“You’re acting like you haven’t seen me in forever,” she teased.

I hummed and wrapped one hand around her waist and pulled her to me as I took her head in my other hand and stole another kiss. She gave in and eagerly drank up the kiss, clutching my shirt and trying to pull me in closer, despite her belly being in the way. I kissed her, and I kissed her again, and I kissed her again—

“PAPA, I SPILLED YOUR JUICE!”

Snapping awake, I glanced around, bringing myself back to the present. In front of me, Sachiko had knocked over my coffee and was crying because of the heat. Throwing away my apparently very vivid dream, I sprang into action, dad mode activated. I scooped her up and carried her into the kitchen to get some cool water on her arms and legs. I internally swore at myself, upset that I’d dozed off long enough to let Sachiko get hurt. I whipped out my phone and dialed the most recent number.

“What, Kirito?” snapped Shino’s voice.

Despite the edge of her voice, I felt relieved that she’d picked up.

“Do you know what to do about liquid burns? Coffee burns?” I asked, the words kind of flying out of my mouth.

She snorted.

“Did you dump coffee down your front?” she asked.

I pulled Sachiko’s arm out from the running water and looked at it. She was pretty red, but I didn’t see anything that resembled a third-degree burn. I should have known that my coffee wasn’t _that_ hot, though the panicking dad in me couldn’t find a reason why any burn wasn’t fatal.

“No, Sachiko spilled fresh coffee down her front and she’s all red,” I said, trying to stay calm. “Do I take her to a hospital?”

I heard a very panicked ‘oh’ from the other end of the phone.

“How hot was your coffee?” she asked.

“I didn’t put a thermometer in it!” I shouted.

My panic was getting the best of me.

“Sacchi, talk to Papa, how bad does it hurt?” I asked.

She looked up at me, her face wet with tears and red from crying. I swear, my heart broke right then. I’d failed her as a supervisor and her father. Now she was crying as hard as she could, trying to understand this unfamiliar pain. This little life, that I’d sworn to protect from the moment I first saw her in the ultrasound at Asuna’s appointment, was now feeling something horrible. I apologized to Shino, told her I’d be headed to the hospital, and then hung up the phone to take my daughter to get looked at by a doctor.

The nurse we saw told me that the burns weren’t as serious as I was making them out to be, but she was glad, in any case, that I’d brought her here instead of trying to treat such a large area of burns on my own. She did ask me to leave the room while she dealt with burns under her clothing. I don’t think she realized I was a single dad and had to dress Sachiko myself a lot. I did as she asked, though, and sat outside in the waiting room with my head in my hands, feeling guilty still, over my little nap.

At some point, I heard footsteps dash in and come to a stop in front of me. I refused to look up. If some kid had just run up to make idle chat, I wasn’t in the mood. Sachiko’s scrunched up face, all twisted from pain and fear, was in the forefront of my mind. I grasped my hair and groaned. I knew I couldn’t be a perfect parent. Just once, though, I wanted to make progress and not take ten large steps backwards.

“Kirito, is she okay?”

I sat up and blinked up at Shino. She looked pretty worried to start, but her face wilted even more when we made eye contact.

“Good grief, you’re crying all over yourself,” she said, sighing and handing me a tissue. “Talk to me. What’s the damage?”

I swallowed.

“She’s…she’ll be okay…” I stammered.

Shino raised an eyebrow at me.

“The way you’re crying, I would have thought she’d died,” she said, letting out a breath. “Take a deep breath.”

I did as she said, then finally took the tissue and wiped my face off.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked.

Glancing over my shoulder, I frowned.

“They’re treating the burns right now,” I said. “I feel so bad…you should have seen the way she looked at me. Like I’d just…completely failed her. I took one nap, not even thinking…”

Shino gently rubbed my shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay, Kirito,” she said. “This kind of stuff happens. I mean, think about it. Think about how your mom felt when you were trapped in a video game for two years.”

I shot her a look.

“That’s different,” I said.

She shook her head.

“Hardly,” she said. “Do you know how much of a failure your mom must have felt like when she came home and you were trapped in a death game, likely to die? Or when you were in a literal coma from something way beyond her control?”

I couldn’t really refute it. I didn’t know how my mom felt about those situations. I’d never thought to ask. Her point made sense. In my eyes, I’d never viewed my parents as failures, and I’d been through quite a lot. It was possible that Sachiko wasn’t thinking I’d failed her as a father. She might have just been very scared, and I was overthinking the rest of it.

The door at the end of the hall opened, revealing a nurse holding Sachiko in her arms. I leapt up and hurried over to them. My poor baby was all bandaged up on her arms and legs, and she was still sporting a very sour look on her face. But when she saw me, my feelings of failure dissipated instantly as she reached out her little arms and started wailing, begging for me to take her. I carefully took her in my arms and patted her head as she clung to me and sobbed.

“She’ll be quite alright, Mister Kirigaya,” the nurse said. “Keep an eye on her burns and be sure to treat them with aloe until they’re gone. I’ll hand it to your wife since your arms are a bit full.”

The nurse handed Shino the aloe gel.

“Wait, I’m not his—” she started.

I bowed carefully at the nurse.

“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll make sure she heals up good in no time!”

Cue Shino giving me a bit of a death glare for not clearing up that she wasn’t the Missus Kirigaya as we walked out of the hospital. Sachiko kept clinging to my shirt, with her face buried in my shoulder, as I walked her out to Shino’s car. My intent was to see her off, but Shino insisted that we ride with her. I frowned down at the car seats, thinking about Sachiko’s burned limbs.

“Would it be too noticeable if I held her?” I mumbled.

Shino frowned, clearly conflicted. She told me to choose what I wanted and then she walked around behind me to wave at Sachiko. My daughter poked her head up over my shoulder and sniffled as she waved back.

“Hey, were you a brave girl today, Sacchi?” Shino asked.

Sachiko nodded. Shino reached into her pocket and pulled out a box of Pocky. She handed it to Sachiko, who took it, mumbled her thanks, and then stuffed her face back into my shoulder. I awkwardly laughed and slipped into the back seat, figuring she wasn’t going to let go of me any time soon. Shino silently drove us on, while I rubbed Sachiko’s back until she finally nodded off on my chest.

When we got back to the house, she ended up waking up. She was fussy, but the crying had stopped. I nodded for Shino to follow us inside. She had a look on her face like she really didn’t want to, but she trailed after us, doing something behind my back that managed to get Sachiko to giggle. I unlocked the door and went into the living area to plop Sachiko down. I knelt down in front of her and frowned at her. Shino hovered behind us a little bit.

“I’m sorry today wasn’t so fun, Sacchi,” I said.

Sachiko kicked her feet a little bit.

“Are you gonna be okay, kiddo?” Shino asked.

Her feet stopped kicking. Sachiko blinked at me, and then she looked up at Shino and smile.

“Yeah, Aunty Shinonon!” she said, suddenly very enthusiastic. “I’m gonna be okay because Papa saved me by taking me to the nice doctor people!”

I put my hand over my mouth and almost immediately choked on a sob. I’d let her get coffee spilled down her front, and yet she was saying I’d saved her? I carefully wrapped my arms around her and gave her a gentle hug.

“I don’t deserve you, Sacchi…” I cried.

Shino sighed.

“Well, if you two are going to be all sappy here, I’m going to get going,” she said.

I gave Sachiko a quick kiss on the cheek and then hopped up.

“Can I ask you something privately before you leave?” I asked.

Shino looked rather bewildered, but she nodded. I told Sachiko that we were going to go and discuss adult things by the front door. She just nodded before flopping over on the futon, probably exhausted from her trip to the hospital. I chuckled and then walked Shino over to the front door. When we were out of earshot from Sachiko, I turned to face Shino and froze. She was unusually tensed up. I took a step forward, and she took a step backwards.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

She gave me a funny look.

“If you’re about to ask me out, the answer is no.”

Her statement hit me full-force in the gut. I staggered backwards, put my hand to my forehead, and then gave her an equally weird face in return.

“Why would I ask you out?” I asked.

She relaxed.

“Oh…” she mumbled. “I just. You insisted on privacy, which isn’t something you’ve ever insisted on before around her. I got this weird feeling that because you’ve been talking to me and seeing me lately that you were getting a crazy idea in your head.”

I shook my head.

“No, no, no way!” I said, waving my hands. “You’re more like a sister to me than a date.”

She tensed up again. I’d said something weird.

“Ah! I mean! Well!”

“A sister, huh?” she said. “I suppose I could live with having someone as annoying as you for a brother.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“What were you going to ask, then?” she asked.

I bit my lip.

“Did Asuna ever tell you about our first child?” I asked.

Shino furrowed her brow, giving me yet another funny look. This one looked skeptical. I knew why she was making that sort of a face. If I was just pulling her leg, I’d have hell to pay. But I was very serious. After my dream, I realized that I hadn’t told anyone else about that. I felt like I needed someone else to know. Shino just happened to be here and I trusted her.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

I swallowed.

“Sachiko wasn’t technically our first kid,” I said, keeping my voice low. “Asuna had been pregnant a couple of years before that, but she miscarried. She would have been born about now, a month before Sachiko’s birthday. I don’t know. I had a dream that made me think about it.”

Shino put her hand on my arm.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” she said. “Asuna never told me.”

I nodded.

“Right,” I said. “Sorry to say that all of the sudden. I just. All of this. The hospital trip. The dream.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“I’ll be okay tomorrow,” I said, giving an empty promise.

Shino gave me a soft smile.

“If you ever need to talk about it,” she said, “let me know, okay?”

I pulled her into a tight hug. She tensed up again, but then just let me embrace her. She patted my back a little, letting me know I was being a bit too touchy. I awkwardly pulled back and thanked her for the offer. She popped her head back into the living area to tell Sachiko good-bye, and then she left, telling me she’d text me. I waited for her to drive off before I went back in the other room to see Sachiko giving me big puppy eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Sacchi,” I said, sitting down on the futon.

She crawled up into my lap and curled up against me, clinging to my front.

“Are you okay, Papa?” she asked.

I stifled a laugh.

“Yeah, kiddo, Papa’s okay,” I said.

I held her against me, silently grateful that nothing worse had happened today. Asuna would never forgive me for letting our baby get hurt. I sent her a mental apology and kissed the top of Sachiko’s head.

_I promise you, Asuna. I promise you I’ll do a better job to keep her safe._


	7. Bedtime Worries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Have a bit of some sleepy dad Kirito. Why is this such a good look for him HELP-

A gentle tugging on my arm woke me up while the room was still dark. Groaning, I rolled over and saw that Sachiko had crawled up onto my bed and was hovering over me. She looked like someone had just slapped her. My heart ached just from looking at her tear-stained face. I sat up and turned the light on. As soon as my eyes started to get used to the brightness, Sachiko threw herself against me and let out a wail. I carefully adjusted myself and pulled her in my lap.

“Hey, what’s wrong, Sacchi?” I asked.

She shook her head. I rubbed her back and waited for her to calm down. When she got upset like this, it was best to just allow her to calm down. Her cries eventually died down into a series of upset sniffles. I snatched a tissue off of the nightstand and sat her up so I could clean off her face. It wasn’t the right moment to say it, but she really strongly favored Asuna when she cried.

“Did you have a scary dream?” I asked.

Sachiko nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.

For a moment, I thought she might refuse. She didn’t usually; as soon as she’d finished crying, she’d launch into explaining what scary monster was coming to get her. They were usually spiders or related to spiders somehow. But right now, she looked like she was hesitating to discuss the dream with me. My heart skipped a beat. I wasn’t ready for her to start pushing me away to seem more grown up. She was only five!

But she flopped forward on me and hugged me as tightly as she could. She wasn’t ready to act independent just yet. I hugged her back and hummed inquisitively as I waited for her to speak. She nuzzled her head up against my chest.

“…gotchu,” she mumbled.

I ran my fingers through her hair, trying to pull it out of her face.

“What was that, sweetie?” I asked.

She lifted her face up and looked at me with eyes so big I almost thought I could see my whole reflection in them. Tears started to stream down her face again. I frowned and cupped her cheeks in my hands.

“Hey, Sacchi, it’s okay!” I said. “Papa’s right here!”

She sniffled and finally put her thoughts into distinguishable words.

“THE SPIDERS TRIED TO EAT PAPA AND AUNTY SHINO-NON!” she exclaimed, wailing even louder than before.

I had to swallow my instinct to laugh at such a silly scenario. No spider was realistically big enough to eat me or Shino. I pulled Sachiko back up against me and rested my cheek against the top of her head.

“Don’t worry, Sacchi!” I said. “Papa and Aunty Sinon won’t let the evil spiders get them!”

She pulled away and jutted her little chin out at me, giving me a very, very serious glare.

“You promise?” she asked, still sniffling.

Giving her my signature cocky smirk, I held up my pinky to her.

“I give you my word, as a swordsman,” I said. “The vile spiders won’t lay a finger on us, your friends, nor you for as long as I live and breathe, Princess Sachiko!”

That managed to get a giggle out of her. Despite her tears, she reached forward and wrapped her pinky around mine. I curled mine over hers and shook her hand up and down until I got another giggle from her. I grinned at her. Her giggle died down, and she looked up at me and did one of those very honest things children do.

“You’re not gonna die, too, are you, Papa?” she asked.

My promise must have struck a chord with her that I hadn’t considered. I found myself subconsciously glancing at the empty half of my bed, realizing that to Sachiko, death wasn’t something that happened only to old people. I’d figured she didn’t quite understand what had happened to Asuna, but she was more aware than I’d given her credit for. I thought about how to answer her. I patted the empty side of the bed. She laid down on it. I pulled the covers up over her and laid down next to her. I took one of her hands and smiled at her.

“Sacchi, everyone dies at some point,” I said. “It’s a part of being human. No one lives forever. I can’t promise you that I won’t die. But I can promise that I will be here for you, whenever you need me, as long as I’m still alive.”

She looked a bit worried, as if that meant I might leave any second. I took her hand and placed it over my heart.

“Do you feel that?” I said.

She nodded.

“Papa’s heart,” she said.

I smiled and nodded.

“That means I’m okay, Sacchi,” I said. “Whenever you need to know if I’m okay, just put your hand here and you’ll know I’m still here.”

Her expression softened a bit. I figured that this would satisfy her for now. I couldn’t promise that something wouldn’t happen to me. But I could reassure her that as long as I lived, she had nothing to worry about. I rolled over to try and go back to sleep. Sachiko clearly wasn’t having that, though. She scooted herself over to me and leaned over my arm, dangling there. I turned my head to look at her.

“Yes?” I asked.

Sachiko hummed.

“Tomorrow’s my birthday,” she said.

I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. It read that it was about fifteen after two in the morning. I looked back at her and smiled tiredly.

“You mean today,” I said.

She gasped and started hopping up and down on the bed. I let out a chuckle. There would be no getting a good sleep for me tonight. I rolled onto my back and waved for her to come and lay back down with me. She slipped down next to me and fidgeted a bit. I wrapped one arm around her. She clutched the blanket in her hands.

“Am I six yet?” she asked.

I hummed and thought back. I had the time on her birth certificate somewhere. Asuna would really tear into me if she knew I’d forgotten where that was at. I made a mental note to go and find that.

“Let’s see,” I said. “Your mama said you were coming before we sat down to go to bed. I was a bit panicked, but it was around midnight when we got to the hospital, so we knew you were coming today when we got there. I think it was about four in the morning when we heard your first cry.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. The way my emotions were like a floodgate had come loose when she’d made that first little noise—it was something I’d never forget. The nurse had laid Sachiko down in Asuna’s arms and we both broke into tears as we gazed at our little miracle baby. I remembered hugging Asuna gently and sobbing with relief. Our baby was safe, healthy, and beautiful.

“Papa!” Sachiko exclaimed. “Why are you crying?”

I shook my head.

“The day you were born was very special to Mama and Papa,” I said. “So, today’s a special day for me, too. It’s the day I first met you, six years ago.”

She giggled.

“You’re so funny, Papa,” she said.

I sighed.

“I guess I am,” I said, chuckling.

Sachiko hummed.

“Can we stay up ‘til I’m six?” she asked.

A small part of me wanted to play the bad parent and tell her to go to sleep, but it was her birthday. I nodded and told her that was fine. As she cheered with excitement, I just laughed. It wasn’t like I had to manage a kid’s party _and_ take Sachiko for a spin through ALO. Except that that was exactly what I had to do.

_I need a bit more of a spine with her, don’t I, Asuna?_

I could see her shaking her head at me, only slightly disappointed. I sent an apology to her in my mind, and then I did my best to stay awake with Sachiko until four o’clock, at which time I promptly fell asleep after telling her a very sleepy ‘Happy Sixth Birthday!’


	8. A First Social Event in a Long Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for being so spacey, world. Grad school and work are in full swing! I'll be doing my best to stay on my updates! Also, I'm so sorry, this chapter was not supposed to be sad and then...RIP.

“Paaaaaapa.”

I groaned as I felt the blanket being pulled off of me. My mind felt very groggy. I clutched the blanket and turned into the pillow, pulling it with me. I felt a fair bit of resistance. I frowned and pulled a little tighter.

“Ten more mintes, Eugeo…” I muttered.

“Who’s Yujo?”

My eyes snapped open. I rolled over and saw Sachiko blinking at me, clearly confused. She cocked her head to the side.

“Papa, who’s Yujo?”

I covered my eyes with my hand and let out another groan. Had I really just said that? I wasn’t sure what to say to her. It was rather complicated, and I wasn’t sure how much her little brain could handle. I felt her tugging at my arm. I sat up and sighed.

“Eugeo was a friend of Papa’s,” I said. “I presume you want breakfast.”

Sachiko quickly forgot her mission to grill me about the mysterious ‘Yujo’ and pumped both fists into the air in victory.

“Pancake!” she exclaimed.

I chuckled.

“Again?” I said.

She stood up and started bouncing on the bed.

“Yes! Pancake! Pancake! Pancaaaaaaaaake!”

I scooped her up into my arms and stepped out of the bed to spin her around. She started giggling. When I stopped spinning, she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck, still laughing. I tilted my head into her embrace and gently rubbed her back. Six years ago today, after staying by Asuna’s side for sleepless hours, the doctors had placed this small life in my arms while Asuna looked on at us, smiling as brightly as the sun. I’d immediately been overwhelmed with emotion and fell apart in plain view of the medical staff, sobbing even more than Sachiko had when she’d first entered the world.

“Papa, you have a silly grin!” she said.

I laughed and kissed her on the forehead.

“I love you so much, Sachiko,” I said. “Happy birthday.”

She giggled some more and reached over to poke me in the cheek. I made a big show out of pretending to drag my feet to the kitchen to start our breakfast. Things were going fairly normally until the doorbell rang, reminding me that I’d forgotten about our breakfast guests. Fortunately, Sachiko was nine steps ahead of me and threw open the door to let Shino, Suguha, and Rika in. I quickly greeted them, apologized for the slow pancake-making process, and dashed in the kitchen to keep things moving. Fortunately for me, Suguha stepped in to help while Shino and Rika kept the birthday girl occupied.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve cooked together, hasn’t it, big brother?” she said, her voice soft.

I nodded.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m appreciative of the help. I’m pretty tired because I spent all night making sure the birthday cake was ready.”

Suguha raised her eyebrows at me.

“You…_you_ baked it?” she said.

I nodded.

“Well, yeah,” I said. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

She shook her head.

“Honestly, with how unproductive you were following Asuna’s passing, I’m a little shocked you know how to make pancakes,” she admitted.

I made a face, ready to defend myself, but she kept going.

“But you’re really working hard to be a good dad, aren’t you, big brother? The house looks good, Sachiko is happy, and you’re putting in a lot of effort to make sure she lives a good life. I was a little scared to come over today. It’s been a few years since I have. The last time I came here, you’d lost a lot of weight, everything looked messy and out of sorts, and I thought I might have to ask mom how to help me take custody of Sachiko.”

My stomach immediately dropped.

“You…you wanted to take me to court?” I said, swallowing.

She bit her lip, looking a little guilty.

“I’m not proud of having had that thought,” she said. “I was just so worried that you’d end up getting her sick with all of that filth. I did ask mom what to do. She said to give you time and space. And she was right. You’re really taking good care of yourself and Sachiko now. You just needed time to heal.”

I shifted a little, unsure of how to respond to her.

“I suppose I’m trying to apologize,” she said. “Helping you come to terms with Eugeo’s death felt so much easier than Asuna’s. Maybe that’s because I felt sad, too. And I moved on, because Asuna wasn’t my lover.”

I held up my hand and cut her off.

“It’s all in the past, Sugu,” I said. “All that matters is that you’re here now, talking to me like we did after I got out of SAO. You’re here interacting with your niece. That’s all I care about. What’s happening right now is more important than a stray thought you had a few years ago.”

I pulled her into a careful hug and waited for her to pull away. Instead, she hugged me even tighter. It had been a long time since we’d embraced like this. She laughed and rubbed my back.

“Goodness, you’re still as skinny as ever,” she said. “We have to make sure you eat!”

Chuckling, I pulled away and quickly flipped a pancake.

“I’m eating just fine,” I said.

I almost made a quip that she’d gained a bit of weight, but I thought better of it. She probably wouldn’t find that jab as funny as I did. I’d look for a better time to ask about that, since it was a bit concerning. I hoped it was just natural gain and not stress gain. I told myself to focus on the party, not on Suguha. These pancakes were just the tip of it.

Breakfast was fun. It had been a while since I’d had a full table. I tried not to think about that, either. I gave the ladies a full run-down of the day’s activities: the other children would arrive at around eleven o’clock, and we’d have to facilitate some fun things and serve them lunch (which I was totally, fully prepared for, of course!). Cake would be served when they were all still paying attention, and they’d get to play around until about three o’clock. The ALO dive would take place before dinner, just so I could rein in Sachiko when it was time to log out.

It at least sounded simple enough.

Then, the kids from school arrived with their parents. I realized that I did not know any of these people outside from hearing about them through Sachiko. And, what was weirder than that was that most of them were only with their mother. Thus, I was stuck in a room with a lot of moms, and it was fairly awkward. As I watched the kids run around in circles, one of the women tapped on my shoulder.

“I hate to be a bother, but I have been wondering something,” she said.

I turned to her and smiled politely.

“And what would that be, Mrs. Sakurazaka?” I said.

She frowned and glanced around.

“Where is your wife at?” she asked. “It just seems a bit odd for the husband to be the one running this sort of party for small children. Does she work a lot?”

I swallowed. Asuna’s memorial shrine was in another room, safely out of the reach of the small children who might mess with it, so it made sense that she hadn’t put two and two together. I took a drag of my coffee and drew in a breath.

“My…my wife passed away five years ago,” I said, trying not to sound too awkward about it. “But I’m sure she’s here in spirit, smiling at Sachiko as she enjoys time with her new school friends.”

Mrs. Sakurazaka tensed up a little.

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry,” she said. “That was insensitive of me.”

I shook my head.

“I-it’s fine,” I stammered, knowing very well that it wasn’t.

She gave me a flustered bow.

“Well, I hope things will get better for you,” she said. “Are you presently seeing anyone? Oh! Is it that Asada girl who’s playing with the children?”

I almost choked on my coffee. Why did people keep assuming I was with Shino? I supposed that a lot of situations probably looked misleading—we were frequently together with Sachiko, and I still wore my wedding band. Still, I would have rather people thought that she was my sister or cousin. There was no way in hell I’d date Shino. It felt weird. The only other person I could think of dating was Eugeo…and that was kind of a dead end, too.

“Really,” I said, “I’m fine. I don’t need to date someone right now. Sachiko needs me.”

Mrs. Sakurazaka didn’t relent.

“But, surely she needs a mother,” she said. “I know a few available single women. I mean, I, myself, understand your pain to a degree. My husband left me for another woman. Quite the petty man, honestly. I wouldn’t mind someone who takes care of himself and his daughter well, and I’m sure our children would—”

I waved my hand to cut her off.

“I-I’m sorry,” I said. “What exactly are you trying to ask me?”

She straightened up a little.

“I apologize,” she said. “I should be frank. I’m asking if you would consider a family merger, Mr. Kirigaya.”

My eyes wandered over to Rika’s, who had just happened to look up at me. I focused all of my energy into calling out for help with my eyes alone as I lifted the coffee cup to hide my face behind it. Rika raised one eyebrow at me, confused. I suppose the look wasn’t obvious enough. I flicked my eyes between Mrs. Sakurazaka and Rika, hoping that the picture was a little clearer that way.

“If you’d prefer, we can set a formal date to get to know one another a little better,” she continued. “But you appear to be a capable father with a decent income, and I know I could help out around the house and contribute some of my income.”

I swallowed.

“Look, I…I’m not looking to remarry at the moment,” I said. “I apologize if in any way I’ve given you that indication, but I’m happy with the way things are right now.”

She frowned at me.

“But, Mr. Kirigaya, you cannot continue to raise a child alone,” she said. “Sentimentality won’t give her the normalcy she needs in order to grow into a fine young woman.”

I let my irritation get the best of me. I slammed the coffee cup down on the counter and caused her to jump.

“Asuna was everything to me!” I shouted. “I’m not replacing her!”

The room got awkwardly quiet. I glanced around and realized everyone, children included, was staring at me. I apologized to Mrs. Sakurazaka, excused myself, and then headed back into my bedroom to cool my head off for a minute. I slumped down at the end of the bed, facing Asuna’s memorial shrine, and held my head in my hands. I let out a frustrated sob. What was wrong with people that they thought so little of marriage? To that woman, marriage was simply a means for living and raising more humans. To me, it had been the action of giving myself completely to Asuna.

My heart would always belong to her. I couldn’t bear to give it away to anyone else. I’d pledged my life to her. She was the one that made all of the darkness go away. There was no moving on. Even in death, she was still here with me. Our love surpassed such menial boundaries as life and death. Couldn’t others see that? I curled up and pulled my knees to my crown, letting the tears slip out safely where I wasn’t disrupting the joy of the birthday event.

The bedroom door creaked open. I lifted my head a little bit to tell the intruder to leave me alone for a moment, but then I felt the rim of a paper plate hit my knee. I lifted my head more and saw Sachiko standing there, leaning over to offer me a piece of birthday cake. She was smiling at me so brightly I almost forgot why I’d been crying.

“S-Sacchi,” I said. “Why aren’t you out there playing with your friends?”

She set the cake down beside me and then came over to my side. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me.

“I want Papa to come play, too,” she said.

I smiled and hugged her back, silently more grateful for her embrace than she could understand.

“Alright,” I said. “Papa’s coming.”

She squeezed me a little tighter.

“Mama’s happy you love her so much, Papa,” she whispered.

With that being said, she let go of me and hurried back out to the living area. I couldn’t help myself as I burst into another fit of sobs. I couldn’t get up and follow her looking like this. The door creaked again, and then this time it closed with a soft click behind someone. I heard them move the cake away from me and then felt them sit down beside me to give me an awkward hug.

“You know, Asuna would say something about you being a crybaby, wouldn’t she, Kirito?”

I stifled a laugh.

“Shut up, Liz,” I mumbled.

She chuckled and patted my shoulder.

“Your little girl needs you out there, Kirito,” she said. “Just a couple more hours of irritating strange moms with questionable recipes and then you’ll get to do what you’ve been waiting to do for a good long while now.”

I lifted my head up and wiped off my face.

“You’re right,” I said. “Let’s go.”

She stood up, snatched up the cake, and then grasped my arm and pulled me up to my feet. When I was up, she handed me the plate, and we walked back out into the living area. Sachiko squealed with delight, came over to hug me, and then declared that she wanted to open up presents. And for that whole time, she insisted on sitting in my lap while she opened them.

All the while, I patiently waited for the party to end.

The best present would come then, after all.


End file.
